Strategies for Managing Your Own Reactions

The hockey environment is full of emotionally charged situations that can challenge both children and parents. The ability to manage your own emotions is essential to maintaining a positive atmosphere and supporting your child’s development—on and off the ice. These strategies will help you navigate emotional moments with calm and confidence.

Practical Techniques for Managing Emotions

Start with conscious breathing. In stressful moments, try inhaling deeply through your nose for a count of four, holding your breath for two seconds, and slowly exhaling through your mouth for six seconds. Repeat this cycle until you feel more grounded. This simple technique lowers tension and restores focus.

You can also “take a step back”—literally. If emotions are building, physically step away from the situation. This action creates mental space and perspective. Try changing where you’re watching the game from, or take a short walk around the rink to reset.

Strategies for Tense Moments

Use reframing to shift your mindset. When something upsets you—like a missed call by a referee—try to ask yourself: “What can my child learn from this situation?” or “How can I turn this into a growth moment?”

Create a personal anchor—a calming gesture or phrase that centers you quickly. This could be something like clenching and releasing your fist, tapping a specific object, or repeating a calming mantra such as “calm and focused.” Practice this consistently so it becomes a reflex when tension arises.

Mental Preparation

Before games, make a personal plan for how you want to behave and react. Set an intention such as, “I will stay composed no matter what happens,” or “My role is to support, not coach.” Remind yourself of these goals throughout the game.

Visualization can also help. Mentally rehearse situations that typically frustrate you, and imagine yourself handling them calmly. The more you practice this in advance, the better prepared you’ll be in real moments.

Working With Your Own Expectations

Regularly revisit your expectations. Understand that not every game will be a win and not every performance will be perfect. Shift your focus from immediate outcomes to long-term development. Journaling about your thoughts and emotional triggers can help build self-awareness and perspective.

Maintain a realistic view of your child’s hockey journey. Remind yourself that youth hockey is about skill-building, character development, and fun—not perfection or professional results. This mindset helps you handle setbacks with greater ease.

Creating Support Mechanisms

Build a network of like-minded hockey parents who value emotional control and respectful behavior. Share your experiences, offer support, and encourage each other during tough moments. Sometimes, just a short conversation with someone who understands can shift your perspective.

Create personal rituals that help you release tension. This might be a brief walk before games, listening to calming music, or meditating for a few minutes. Practicing these routines regularly will help you maintain emotional stability throughout the season.