Golden Rules for Hockey Parents

Being a hockey parent comes with unique responsibilities and challenges. The golden rules serve as guiding principles to help parents create a supportive, respectful, and positive environment in which their child can thrive—both as an athlete and as a person. These rules help foster team spirit and lay the foundation for healthy athletic development.

Basic Principles of Parenting in Hockey

The most important rule: Hockey is for kids, not for parents. Every decision and behavior you exhibit should reflect your child’s best interests—not personal goals or unfulfilled ambitions. Encourage your child’s love for the game and allow their hockey skills to grow naturally.

Strive to strike a balance between support and pressure. Let your child know they’re supported regardless of performance. Prioritize effort, courage, and perseverance over results. Provide a safe and encouraging space for learning, trying, and growing—free from fear of criticism.

Communication Guidelines

Remember: Coaches coach, parents support. Respect the coach’s expertise and decisions regarding gameplay, tactics, and team structure. If concerns arise, bring them up privately and constructively—never in front of your child or other team members.

When talking with your child, lead with empathy. Avoid rushing into criticism or analysis right after a game. Ask open-ended questions like, “Did you have fun?” or “What part of the game did you enjoy most?” Foster open conversations that invite your child to reflect on their experience.

Support and Motivation Rules

Keep in mind: Focus on effort, not just results. Recognize and praise your child’s hard work, progress, and ability to learn from mistakes. Help them set realistic goals and celebrate personal achievements—regardless of scores or statistics.

Also remember: Hockey is part of life, not all of it. Encourage balance by supporting academic responsibilities, friendships, and rest. Create time and space for your child to explore other interests outside of hockey.

Respect for Authority and the Team

Respecting referees is a core value: Officials are part of the game—not the enemy. Avoid negative reactions to their decisions, and teach your child to accept calls gracefully and stay focused on what they can control.

Within the team context: The team comes before the individual. Promote collaboration and good sportsmanship. Avoid criticizing other players or comparing children’s performances. Help your child become a dependable teammate who uplifts others.

Long-Term Development Perspective

Above all: Play the long game. Athletic development is a journey, not a race. Children progress at their own pace, and it’s important to support their growth step by step. Resist the urge to rush their advancement or focus solely on short-term achievements.

And finally: Be a role model. Children learn by watching. Your reactions to wins, losses, and challenges shape their own attitudes. Demonstrate composure, positivity, and sportsmanship—on and off the ice.